How to Talk to Your Loved One About Continence Support
Talking to someone you love about continence can feel daunting — maybe even a little awkward. But if you've noticed signs of struggle, discomfort, or quiet avoidance, this could be the conversation that helps them feel seen, supported, and empowered.
Incontinence is far more common than most people realise. In fact, over 5 million Australians live with some form of bladder or bowel control issue, according to the Continence Foundation of Australia. And while it’s nothing to be ashamed of, many people delay getting help because they simply don’t know how to ask.
Signs It’s Time to Talk About Continence Support
Not sure when to bring it up? You’re not alone. Incontinence can be a difficult topic, and many older adults go to great lengths to hide it — even from their closest family members. But if you know what signs to look for, you can offer support before the situation worsens.
Here are some common indicators your loved one might be silently struggling with continence:
1. Frequent Bathroom Urgency or Accidents
If they’re rushing to the toilet often, showing signs of urgency, or you’ve noticed wet patches or odours, these could be early signs of urge or stress incontinence. As the team at ConfidenceClub points out, even small leaks may cause embarrassment and signal a need for better support.
2. Changes in Clothing Habits
Is your loved one suddenly wearing darker clothes more often? Are they avoiding certain outfits or bringing extra clothing in their bag? These are subtle coping strategies that can indicate they're managing leaks in silence — a behaviour that Bladder & Bowel UK notes is surprisingly common.
3. Unexplained Odours or Frequent Laundry
A spike in laundry loads or the sudden use of air fresheners or fabric sprays can be your cue that something’s up. While it's easy to overlook, this is often an attempt to mask leaks or accidents, according to NAFC.
4. Withdrawing from Social Activities
If someone who used to love outings, family events, or travel is now making excuses to stay home, incontinence could be part of the reason. Health Concepts Ltd explains that fear of accidents in public is one of the top reasons older adults retreat socially.
5. Skin Irritation or Discomfort
Redness, rashes, or skin irritation in the genital or inner thigh area can be caused by moisture or prolonged exposure to urine. This can signal that existing continence needs aren’t being managed properly — and it's time to talk about products or care routines that can help.
How to Start the Conversation with Compassion
Bringing up continence support with a loved one isn’t easy — but it is important. The key is to approach the conversation with empathy, not embarrassment. As Bladder & Bowel UK recommends, your tone, timing, and sensitivity can make all the difference.
1. Choose the Right Moment
Start when you’re both calm, relaxed, and have privacy. Avoid bringing it up during a stressful event or in front of others. A quiet moment at home or after a routine doctor’s appointment can be ideal. According to Health Concepts Ltd, making it a “normal” part of the broader health conversation often reduces defensiveness.
2. Use “I” Statements, Not Accusations
Rather than saying “You’ve had accidents,” try:
“I’ve noticed a few things lately and just want to check in. Is everything feeling okay when it comes to the bathroom?”
This approach shows concern, not criticism. NAFC emphasises focusing on your desire to help, not on the problem itself.
3. Normalise the Issue
You might say something like:
“A lot of people deal with bladder leaks as they get older. It’s more common than most people realise.”
Reminding your loved one that incontinence is nothing to be ashamed of can reduce the stigma. In fact, ConfidenceClub points out that incontinence affects over 5 million Australians — it’s a common part of ageing, illness, or recovery.
4. Frame Support as Empowering, Not Dependent
Instead of framing continence products or routines as a sign of frailty, reframe them as tools for independence and dignity. For example:
“There are great options now that make life more comfortable. This isn’t about losing freedom — it’s about keeping it.”
5. Offer Solutions, Not Just Observations
Be ready with suggestions that show you’ve done your homework. Whether that’s seeing a continence nurse, trialling absorbent products, or updating bathroom access, concrete steps give the conversation purpose. As Bladder & Bowel UK suggests, this approach turns a hard topic into a problem-solving exercise — one you’re tackling together.
Empowering Daily Confidence: Continence Products & Support that Truly Help
When continence becomes part of your loved one’s daily care, it’s about more than just managing leaks — it’s about preserving dignity, comfort, and independence. The right product can reduce stress, prevent skin breakdown, support restful sleep, and make outings feel less daunting.
Here are some of our most trusted continence aids, paired with the why behind each one — and how to get support if you need it.
1. MoliCare Premium Mobile
Best for: Active older adults who prefer a “real underwear” feel with reliable, discreet protection.
Why it matters:
This pull-up offers heavy absorbency while looking and feeling like regular underwear. That means fewer interruptions to their routines, less embarrassment during outings, and easier transitions into continence support — especially for those reluctant to switch.
Care Tip: Encourage daily use during outings or overnight, and have a few spare pairs ready for longer days.
2. Poise Thin & Discreet Ultra Long Pads
Best for: Mild bladder leaks or occasional dribbles — often an early sign of continence changes.
Why it matters:
This is where many people start. These ultra-long, super-slim pads offer confidence without the bulk, perfect for those still coming to terms with changes and not yet ready for full briefs.
Care Tip: Keep a few in handbags or bedside drawers for easy, judgement-free access.
3. Abena Pants Bariatric
Best for: Larger-bodied clients needing comfortable, secure coverage.
Why it matters:
Too-tight products create leaks, discomfort, and low dignity. Abena’s bariatric sizing ensures that every body — no matter the shape or size — gets the care and comfort it deserves.
Care Tip: Choose the correct sizing to avoid skin irritation or pressure points, and store them flat to avoid misshaping.
4. TENA Liners – Standard Length
Best for: Subtle dribbles or everyday freshness.
Why it matters:
Continence isn’t always severe. These breathable, odour-controlling liners are for people with minor leaks who just want to stay fresh — and confident — all day.
Care Tip: Ideal for carers introducing their loved one to continence support in a gentle, non-threatening way.
5. Depend Real-Fit Underwear (Women)
Best for: Women looking for supportive, high-absorbency briefs that look like real underwear.
Why it matters:
These feel like proper underwear — no rustle, no sag. That means improved self-image, more freedom, and better chances of adoption.
Care Tip: Rotate with other options to find what suits different times of day (e.g., thinner by day, more absorbent at night).
6. Depend Real-Fit Underwear (Men)
Best for: Men who want discreet protection with a masculine fit.
Why it matters:
With absorbency in the right place and no bulky waistband, this option helps maintain comfort, routine, and dignity — especially for blokes reluctant to make the switch.
Care Tip: Suggest trying them at home first to build comfort and confidence before daily use.
7. Cello Paper Economy Underpads
Best for: Night-time security or extra protection for beds and chairs.
Why it matters:
Accidents happen — and these disposable pads help prevent mattress damage, sheet changes, and middle-of-the-night stress for carers and users alike.
Care Tip: Layer under linens or place on wheelchairs, recliners, or incontinence zones for extra peace of mind.
Funding Help for Continence Products
Worried about the costs? You don’t have to manage this alone. Australia offers generous funding options to help cover the cost of continence products. If your loved one has a chronic condition, disability, or is ageing in place, they may be eligible.
Here’s where to start:
- NDIS: If your loved one is a participant, their plan may cover continence products, support assessments, and aids.
- My Aged Care / Home Care Packages: Continence care may be included in Level 1–4 packages, including regular supply and personal support.
- Continence Aids Payment Scheme (CAPS): A direct government payment for eligible individuals needing products long-term.
- National Continence Program: Includes carer education and support resources.
- Continence Foundation of Australia: For guidance, referrals, and free national helplines.
- Continence Nurses Society Australia (CONSA): For access to specialist continence nurses.
Want a clear overview? Visit our Funding Programs Guide to explore which options are available based on your situation.
Your Next Step Starts with a Simple Conversation
Starting a conversation about continence care isn’t always easy — but it can make a world of difference to your loved one’s confidence, comfort, and quality of life. Whether you’re just noticing the signs, in the thick of daily care, or looking for better product solutions, know this: you're not doing this alone.
At Platinum Health, we’re proud to support carers, families, and individuals with practical, people-first continence solutions that respect dignity and promote independence. Our carefully selected range of trusted brands — from pads to pull-ups to bed protection — are chosen with real people’s lives in mind.
Want to see what’s right for your loved one?
Come visit us at our Epping Showroom
Unit 2/51 Trafalgar Road, Epping VIC 3076
Open Monday to Friday, 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Whether you’re after expert guidance, product demos, or just a friendly chat about funding options — we’re here. No pressure. No judgment. Just support that works for you.
Prefer to browse online? Shop continence aids now or view our Funding Programs Guide to get started.
Because every step toward comfort, dignity, and peace of mind matters.
